As I enter into this phase in my life Im afraid I underestimated just how much change I need to create in my life. Honestly, I wish I could just start over but then would I actually learn and change? Or would I just destroy that life in the same ways. I need to go through this hell to actually build the type of life I want to have.
I worked some today but I spent more than I wanted to and my diet went off the rails late tonight, emotional eating dealing with the harshness of life. My emotions have always controlled me and in turn I have turned to overeating to self medicate against them.
This cant be how I approach my mental health, I need to be stronger. I need to find the discipline to the plans I am creating. I think the way forward will involve some sort of meditation practice. Ive done it before and had some success but as always and with everything in my life, I am never able to remain consistent. I wonder if there are medications to help me remain consistent?
I know there are meditation apps and about a million meditation blogs so I will have to spend some time researching it or maybe I should just jump in and start a plan tomorrow??? Anything action related is preferable to just talking about it, no more wasted days!!!
So was today a success? I worked and made some good moves. I wrote some and worked some on this blog site. I followed my diet for the day up until late tonight when I didnt. So lets call today progress not perfection.
So I guess then tomorrow my goals will be to…
Develop a daily schedule to follow
Start a daily meditation program
Work all my hours
Work on my monthly budget
Follow a healthy diet, high quality foods.
These goals will cover my mental, physical and financial goals. They dont address my physical strength or living conditions however my pain is at a high level right now. I need to follow a strict diet for a few days, that always helps lessen the pain. Three days, starting today!
Lets gooooooooo!!!!
