I haven’t posted in quite a while. I fell off the wagon again, went to hell on my diet when some stuff in life hit he hard. My sister put my mom into a long term care facility and blamed me because I cant take care of her… My mom is devastated and heartbroken and I cant help her because Im still in a wheelchair myself. My mental has fallen through the floor over the last 3 months and my diet and goals progress a long with it.
Recently I started attending Church again only online. Not quite the same but its all I can do for now. Ive struggled with being a believer and being a non believer. Religion vs spiritualism, Ive never had trouble with faith in something but the specifics elude me. I know God has come into my life on a couple of occasions at my lowest point and touched my soul. I feel guided to blog and to succeed in transformation while building a community of people in a similar situation as myself. In fact, this vision and thought has returned to me over and over again over the last two weeks. Ive been kind if putting it in the back of my head because honestly I dont feel strong enough to succeed. I feel like im at my lowest point. I put my faith in God to see me through and should I notbe able to pick myself up, I guess reaching out to people isnt the worst way to spend the time I have left.
So where do I go from here? Ha, who knows. I had so many goals set for this project and so many great intentions and they all just fell aside and out of mind over the course of a week. I guess my primary focus will be on just posting every day. Really being intentional in my consistency. As far as changes in my life, I intend to focus on diet again to start. Not super strict but not a trainwreck either. Focus on portions and calorie counting, aiming to stay under 2000.
When I say I took every goal I had and did a 180 degree turn and blew those goals up I mean it. I’m in worse shape now than I was in every one of them so we start over.
Pray for me.
