My Financial Rock Bottom
As part of my journey of self-improvement and fixing the mess I’ve created in my life, I have to focus on repairing my financial situation. My entire life, I’ve struggled to support myself financially. It’s humiliating to admit this at the age of 41, and I fully expect some people to judge me for saying it. But I believe this process requires an honest accounting of where I am.
I’ve spent most of my life working random entry-level jobs. Some were fulfilling, and a few lasted for years, but none ever paid well enough to create the life I’ve always dreamed of. I accepted being broke—literally the day I got paid—without the means to enjoy myself or do the things I would have liked. Almost as a form of self-abuse and addiction, I focused primarily on feeding my addictions: smoking and binging on unhealthy foods, while always finding a way to neglect my bills. I’ve destroyed my credit more than once, and even the smallest expense has become a huge burden. Due to my declining physical health, earning income has become increasingly difficult.
So here is my starting point: I am broke, behind on many of my bills, and in danger of losing everything. After years of financial irresponsibility, despite a lifetime of help from family and friends, I now accept that I must take personal responsibility for my life moving forward.
The Moment I Decided to Change
When I finally decided that I didn’t want to live in fear anymore, I took stock of the changes I needed to make. It became immediately clear that I had to change everything. That means becoming responsible in every area of my life. One of the most important areas is financial success, because it will allow me to improve every other part of my life and finally do the things I’ve dreamed of.
Setting My Financial Goals
I don’t expect to become rich or even financially well-off. In fact, given my health and other limitations, if I can simply improve to the point where I can fully support myself, I will consider this journey a huge success.
Short-Term Goals:
I want to stabilize my situation. That starts with identifying my monthly needs by creating a solid budget and obtaining reliable income to meet those needs. Once I can do that consistently, I will focus on managing my money better to reduce the anxiety and fear I feel around money and bills. I also want to build an emergency fund, large enough to cover at least three months of expenses if I were to be hospitalized or lose income. This is a huge source of fear for me — and I will defeat it.
Mid-Term Goals:
Over the next 6 months or so, I want to begin repairing my credit and continue saving money. One of my personal dreams is to travel once I’m physically able. Because of my health limitations, traveling may be more expensive, so I need to start planning and saving as soon as possible.
Long-Term Goals:
Ultimately, I want to create financial independence so I’m no longer dependent on others for my financial well-being. I hope to develop investments or build a business I can rely on. My goal isn’t to be wealthy, but simply to find financial safety and security.
My Starting Plan of Action
To start, I will focus on maximizing the hours I work at my current work-from-home job. I’m allowed to work up to 30 hours per week, but due to mental health challenges and physical limitations, I’ve only been completing about 10 hours. This must become my top priority: to build the strength and discipline to complete my full schedule every week. I am fortunate to have this opportunity and I can’t afford to waste it any longer.
In addition, I will look for side hustles I can do from home that don’t require physical exertion, as I’m currently in a wheelchair. This will change in the future—I am determined—but for now, I must start where I am.
Next, I need to create a comprehensive budget. This budget must cover all necessary expenses, as well as allow for investments I want to make in building additional income sources.
The Mindset Shift
I need to change the way I approach my life. Discipline must become my focus. Without it, I will not succeed in achieving any of my goals or improving my quality of life. This means being consistent every single day — working as many hours as I can and spending strictly according to my budget. I am choosing to view money as a tool to achieve my goals. Since I need more in order to reach those goals, I will do whatever it takes to succeed.
Why I’m Sharing This Journey
I am creating this blog to share my journey of self-growth in many different areas. It’s here to help keep me focused on what’s important and to hold me accountable.
You can expect honest updates about my journey — down to the dollars and cents, including poor choices and struggles. At times, it will probably be ugly, but it will always be real. As I grow, I hope my readers can watch my progress and learn some things along the way.
